Uhhhh - Emotional Burnout - Part 1...
Uhhhh - Emotional Burnout - Part 1
17th July 2008 - The 17th saw me scrapping on orkut. After a long time decided to search for old friends. Searched for her specifically. Earlier attempts to contact her had been a complete failure as she did not respond. This time there was a change in her profile 1) Her snaps had been uploaded 2) An older scrap from her friend congratulating her on her engagement.
The last time i had spoken with her was in October/November 1997 when i was in my XIth Grade .Though not partners we were good friends. The pictures snapped me back into the past. What a fool i had been to break our friendship due to my egoism. She had apologised for what i had percieved she had done. She had told me that she loved talking to me and trusted me completely and missed the discussions we used to have about life. And i like an idiot, an egoistic idiot, had ignored her request to be friends again. What did i have at that time from a social perspective - Absolutely nothing except for my male buddies and of course that curse - alcohol. Women used to think i was weird - and here was this really cute girl , whom i had known for Six Months and who was a hearthrob for many in school including me, and she was telling me that she completely trusted and valued me as one of her closest friends. She had seen in me what a lot of people including yours truly had not noticed - Loyalty, Courage and Commitment. She was boosting me and giving my confidence back to me. Can anyone guess what my response was????????.....Those words which came out of my mouth still haunt me till this very day "I dont know, we will see"
It has been nearly 11 years but my memories and regrets about her are still there, fresh as if all this happened yesterday. As i looked at those pictures on her profile it was painful. Painful, of course due to my stupidity, that i could not share my joy in life with her. Well then i decided that it was time for me to ask for forgiveness and rebuild that friendship which had promised so much...but had delivered so less. I am a firm believer that women can have friends who are not their lovers and thats what i wanted from her. I want her to be just that simple friend.
Doubts came into my mind as i checked her scrapbook. Was she the right person ??? As i trawled through her entire scrapbook and looked at her friends list, checked their profiles and testimonials, i realized i had the right person. .Would she remember me ??? I decided to test the waters. I sent her a scrap congratulating her on her engagement and hoping that she would have a great life ahead. As i switched my computer off, i finished my 3rd beer. Realizing i would probably have to wait for a day for a response i decided that i better sleep off. After all life had to go on and then there was office @ night. Couldnt afford to miss that, could I ? was the last the thought in my mind as i closed my eyes.
